In an uncharacteristic move, I have created a short and sharp list.
It’s killing me not to elaborate further. Really.
12 Little Life Lessons from my Mum (the best Mum that ever was):
1. Eyes before nose
If you’ve been crying, wipe your eyes first, and your nose second. You don’t want to transfer the germs from your nose and wind up with an eye infection. Also, eyes are precious.
2. It’ll grow back
If you want to dye your hair or chop it off, you can. It’ll grow back. This was the logic behind my various periods as a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. Most things are temporary, not the end of the world.
3. Don’t brush your teeth straight after you have soft drink*
You’re essentially brushing in the sugar and acidity, eroding your enamel (which you can’t get back!). Same applies for a lot of drinks and sour lollies. Swish and rinse with water before you start brushing. And don’t forget your gums. People always forget their gums. SMH.
4. Don’t date a man who doesn’t like puppies
Puppies are cute and friendly and vulnerable – if someone doesn’t like them, they are probably best avoided. And definitely not dateable.
5. Hold up the envelope
When you’re buying a birthday card in the supermarket, hold it up against the envelope. This prevents the moment where you realise: You chose the wrong envelope, the card doesn’t fit and everything is a disaster.
6. Eat your calories, don’t drink them
You’ll generally have greater satiety (feelings of fullness) when you eat your food, rather than blending or juicing it.
7. Your sentences are too long
Re-submit to me when you’ve used more full stops. If there’s an ‘and’, make it a new sentence.
8. Frowning gives you wrinkles
The best way to fight against wrinkles is to not wrinkle your face in the first place. I try not to frown. It’s really hard, especially when I have my focus face on. Also moisturise so when you do frown, your skin is lubricated and better able to bounce back. Sunscreen always. The winter sun can still get you.
9. Sterilise directly before use
If you are sterilising equipment – whether that’s a jar for kombucha or a needle for ear piercing – do it directly before you plan on using it. Otherwise it loses its sterility.
10. Don’t burn bridges
Even when you really, really dislike someone, try not to burn the bridge to the ground. Sometimes they are self-igniting and cannot be extinguished. But where possible, try for graceful exits. You never know who might be best friends of the son of your future employer.
11. Don’t ask as they walk through the door
When someone arrives home, don’t bombard them with requests. Ask them how their day was. Allow a grace period of five minutes before you begin the bombarding.
12. Never go to bed on an angry note
Resolve bad feelings during the day. Say ‘I love you’ before bedtime.
– – –
Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to include my favourite dentistry tip in this list. But if you want to know, I’m pretty bad at keeping secrets…
Those are some of the little life lessons that spring to mind when I think of Mum. And I thought I should share them because it is flu season and people are blowing their noses all wrong.
What’s the best advice your Mum ever gave you?
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